I started this blog because having been on Cbeebies for 10 years you'd think I'd know a bit about being a mum. But at 42 years old I realise I know nothing! All I know is that my 7 month old son, Phoenix Hudson Callaghan, does not belong to me, he belongs to no one but himself - but I do belong to him and I am on the most magical journey of my life.
I was sacked from Cbeebies for having my boobs in the papers with the headline Cboobies (twice) and for admitting I'd been 'left on' Prozac for 18 years. I'd have hoped that Cbeebies might have stood by me on the Prozac front but not at all, I was ostracised. As if things couldn't get worse for my for my kid's TV career they did. I was completely taken off the channel and wiped from it's history in 2012. There was a good reason for this and I don't blame the powers that be there one bit. Unfortunately, I found myself with no choice but to 'come clean' (forgive the pun) about the fact that way before my Cbeebies career, I had in fact been a cocaine addict. I was clean and sober well before I joined the channel, unlike many that have worked on kid's tv and It was handled really well by Dan Wooton. We really tried to put a positive spin on it (if there is such a thing) in the hope that teenagers who watched me as a kid would listen to me and actually be put off taking drugs. Hopefully listening to someone they knew, trusted and who wasn't just saying, "Don't do it" for no good reason... but importantly because I had been there and ruined some major aspects of my life, for which I am still picking up the pieces 16 years after I got clean. No one, apart from Iain Lee, could see that I was trying to do a good thing by being honest and so unlike Richard Bacon (I'm a girl in showbiz after-all) I was cast out.
So, as I write this blog and invite you all to join me on my journey as a parent, I find myself, 'apparently' not fit to entertain your children (according to the BBC) - but gladly I am a good enough and stable enough human being to raise my own beautiful son. Hooray for that! I am determined to make parenthood the greatest job of my life. I'm excited too as unlike being a kids tv presenter, parents can be human, they can do grown up things, they can swear, they can sunbathe topless and they can admit they've made huge mistakes they are not proud of - but the fact that they carry on trying to be a better person can only be a good example to their precious children. So on that note, let's start the fucking blog!