For all our beautiful mother's, who taught us how to love - thank you for showing us where real beauty lives, not in make-up, fake tans and nails but in' just being' . Embracing the feminine. Pure, honest and un-selfish.
We are naturally the very essence of beauty, we just have to find our own inner light and then any one can light up the whole world and that light only gets brighter the older and wiser we are...
I didn't realise until I had Phoenix just how loved I am by my parents.. It made me feel very special and magically protected all of a sudden. I now understand why Harry Potter's mother gave him enough magic in his soul to defeat the evil Lord Voldermort. JK Rowling is spot on, a mother's love is the best magic in the universe. When you realise just how much your parents love you, you are no longer alone and you can conquer all the evil in the world and you don't truly realise the magnitude of this love until you have your own child.
My own mother is a force of nature. She is a natural mother, honest, brave, unselfish and properly funny and full of mischief. I'm writing this part of my blog to pass on a few of the wonderful tips she gave me.
After I gave birth she was truly amazing. I'd had a C- Section so I really couldn't do anything at all but take lots of pictures of Phoenix.
Ayden is a natural father and he and my mum got to work making a home for our new family member. I had been so superstitious (for reasons I will explain in another blog) that I couldn't have any baby things un-packed at all before the birth. This meant that the minute we got home it was panic stations for Ayden and my mum. They rushed around trying to get everything ready. They were both amazing but here are the main tips my mother gave me..
"TRY NOT TO ROCK HIM TO SLEEP"
Instead of rocking Phoenix to sleep she told us to hold his hands in ours in his crib (almost cup them in our hands) so he felt safe. This was a brilliant piece of advice. Thanks to my mum I've never had to rock him to sleep, which meant in the early days when he had night feeds, I could just put him straight back in his 'Next To Me' and he'd fall off to sleep by himself. We didn't even have to hold his hands every time, only if he'd got over tired. I think we had 2 nights where he cried and then he just accepted that was how it's done, so slept. Now he will fall asleep anywhere without any fuss. He even recently fell asleep on my coat on a booth seat in a restaurant while Ayden and I ate next to him. If he knows he's safe he will sleep.
"GIVING HIM A LAST FEED AT 10.30PM EVEN IF I HAD TO WAKE HIM"
She recommended this as a way of getting him to sleep early on, all through the night. It totally worked! By the time he was 10 weeks old Phoenix slept from 11pm until 10.30am and he still does. This was a genius move.
"EVEN IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT, DON'T LOSE YOUR COOL AROUND HIM"
My lovely mum made me realise that children are a bit like cats and dogs. (I understand animals, so this is probably why she explained it like this, as she knew it was the only way I'd understand what she was saying haha). Both cats and dogs are at their best when their 'pack leader' is confidently in control. If they feel safe and secure, they can relax. My mum explained that babies are much the same - and that if I acted confidently and calmly, even if I didn't feel it, then Phoenix would be calmer. Again this worked a treat. Phoenix is one of the most chilled out babies (most of the time - not all the time) you will ever meet.
USING WASHING UP LIQUID TO GET OUT STAINS
Haha I can't believe I'm actually writing about stains but this advice was amazing and it saved a lot of poo stained clothes that otherwise I would have had to throw away..
1. Use fairy liquid to get the stain out by rubbing it on the stain with water
2. Put a colour run pad and a scoop of vanish in a bowl of hot water and soak item in that.
3. Make sure all fairy liquid is out of clothes, because in my mum's own words, "You don't want it to knacker your machine." and then just put the clothes in the washing machine as normal.
Result - Stain free clothes - it even works on bolognese ladies!
So there are 4 of my mum's tips for now. She has given me many more gems but I'll put those on a tips page, coming very soon, which I'm hoping you will all add to.
If your mum or dad is no longer around or was never there, then please make sure you are your own mum and dad, to your own inner child.
I realised recently (because of Phoenix) the only regret I have in life is that I have not loved or appreciated myself enough. Always feeling like I'm not good enough. Not living my life to it's full potential because I didn't feel pretty enough or thin enough or clever enough or like I have achieved enough. I am enough though, we are all enough, so please don't waste another day. Love yourself like a mother now and live!