You Think You Have Time
Since having Phoenix so many people have said to me, treasure every moment, it goes so quickly....
Quickly! Since having Phoenix, I run around like my arse is on fire. If they were making a film about the old cartoon of the Mexican Super Fast Mouse, I would be cast as Speedy Gonzales himself. The time fairies have definitely wound up the clock that governs my life, so it spins round faster and faster. Every moment seems to fall away at my feet as I step forward to the next. I want it to slow down but there's so much to do and just as the past fades away in a flash, I seem to be chasing the future and I just can't catch up!
Today I've done tax, that job sucks some pretty big bum holes anyway, especially if you're not an accountant and you're not getting paid for it. I have 5 crates (yes crates) of paperwork that I have sorted in to some order today, all ready to enter in to excel tomorrow or file away. What was once a beautiful tree is now a pointless piece of paper for the greedy tax man.
When computers first came to the masses they were supposed to save us time, so we had more leisure and they were said to save paper. Neither is true, we have less time for real life, so consumed are we by social media, emails, google and dare I say it blogs and the trees are still being chopped down like 'The Nothing' from the film, Never Ending Story is wading through.
I'm cross with the internet today because I haven't had time to play on it, I do love the internet though, it is a social wonder world, full of information and opportunities. I was desperate to do a review that I've been promising today and I wanted to post some competitions for you, I have prizes coming out of my ear holes. I really want to start BeautyWell soon and also wanted to write a blog. As you see. It's 10pm at night and I clearly only have time for the latter and time is speeding by as I write this.
Time is galloping by so quickly these days that I'm finding increasingly, I just don't have time for idiots. If someone annoys me now, I'm not polite, I don't have time to take the higher ground, I have to take the short cut, which is the quick route of telling them they are a nob and moving on. There's no room on the clock for making allowances for utter morons. I don't have time to ask nicely for things the second time around and I certainly don't have time to wonder if I'm asking for things in the right way or if I'm offending anyone. I just about have time to be grateful but I certainly don't have time to pretend I am when I'm not. I only have time for the truth these days, even when it hurts. There's no room in my head or on the clock to wonder how I should approach something. I just have to go in all guns blazing, not giving a fuck, with my eyes closed and my pants on fire!
I've spent no time at all with Phoenix today and I really hope I can finish this blog with enough chance to spend at least an hour with him for cuddles and reading. I don't want to wake up and he's 18 and leaving home and I find myself saying, why did you do your tax and write blogs for a living, while missing out on your baby growing up you stupid woman. The reality is that bills have to be paid and chores have to be done. Unless I become the Wookey Witch and we all go and live in a cave, I have to comply with society and that means, working, doing tax and missing out on precious moments with my baby.
If only time would slow down just a little bit I feel like I could fit it all in, I might even get the chance to read the new Harry Potter book or try to bake a cake... I can't bake a cake, I am disastrous cook but it would be nice to have the time to try!
My brain seems to be whizzing around like a Tasmanian devil too. This could be the lack Prozac but I suspect it's all the information I'm trying to digest at the moment. I've had to revert to an old school diary to write it all down. What with blogging, wedding, court cases, working, writing and let's not forget being a mum my head feels crammed full of stuff. It actually feels like one of those cupboards you just shove all the mess in to.
Tomorrow I will finish the tax. On Monday I have to look at some material and make at least 5 business calls and about the same amount of wedding calls. I'll hopefully get a review done or at least a competition up on here and hopefully I'll look at, at least launching BeautyWell. I'll have Phoenix on my own all day too so no doubt he will swing from my hair as I reported before and keep my head in a whirling spin.....
But then.... When it's all done..... I am determined to have at least an afternoon of just me and Phoenix. I want to just play with him and get that blissful peace you get when you give your child all your attention. Maybe we will go for a pram walk or maybe we will play in his ball pit. I will put down my phone and iPad and all the 'stuff' and I will connect with my baby. I'll see his little soul taking flight as he learns to be alive and just for that enchanted moment time will slow down.
Time has a wonderful way of showing you what truly matters. I guess it's the things that make you feel peaceful and actually slow the hands of time down that matter. So for me that's Phoenix, Ayden, my parents, my cats and Harry Potter!