Ok, so I knew that doing a diet blog would be an emotive subject, especially as I'm a 'thin' girl. What I didn't fully appreciate was quite how emotive it would be or the varied response I've had.
I promise you, I know a thing or two about this. If I hadn't taught myself this way of eating, I'd have been on a diet my whole life while slowly getting fatter. Many of you are suspicious of me but I ask you, who better to tell you their secrets?
Me, who once suffered the constant torment of dieting but has managed to turn myself in to a naturally slim girl and hasn't changed weight for 20 years? Or do you want to put your faith in yet another magazine article, where a reality TV star has been paid by a brand to tell you that she or he, shed 4 stone in 3 months, only to see them put it all back on again in 3 weeks, so they can sell you another pipe dream in 6 months.
I am not paid to write this. In fact not long ago I was offered money from a very well-known high street, diet brand, to tell you all that I had lost my baby weight with their product. I declined as I didn't lose it that way for a start, I just lost weight because I have learned to listen to my body. I don't agree with dieting and I'd rather tell everyone the truth even if I'm poorer for it. DIETS DO NOT WORK.
I have a family and no one can afford to turn down thousands of pounds (pardon the pun) but I also have a a conscience and morals and quite frankly - I fucking hate diets! They steal your life.
I genuinely want to help and if I free just one person from a life of dieting, then I will be happy.
I want you to think back to a time when you were younger, when food was absolutely no issue to you at all. You just ate it. You didn't worry about a (government imposed) five a day. You didn't think about sugar or salt content. You didn't count calories. You just heard a rumble in your tummy and you looked to your parents to feed you. When you had finished and felt full, without even realising it you stopped eating. You didn't clear your plate if you were full, you jumped up from the table and went off to play.
Back then, you didn't care how much you weighed or how much or little you had eaten.
You sometimes ate food for fun and sometimes you hardly ate at all but you didn't give it a second thought. Wouldn't you love to go back to that?
Well that is how I live my life now and you can do it too. It just takes a little trust in yourself (and me) to break away from the fear of food and back in to the joy that it can and should bring.
So let us carry on with the list of reasons why Diet's Do Not Work. I believe we were at reason number 6.
6. Dieter's Insanity - The excuses we make so we can eat...
After years of deprivation, food is no longer how it used to be when you were a child. So many rules and regulations have been placed on you through dieting, You can't remember how to eat anymore, using your natural instincts. If you come off a diet, you go wild and crazy and feel totally out of control.
You also make bargains with yourself so you can eat. You think these bargains makle food 'guilt free' the way it should be - but they don't.
Your inner child, is so deprived it keeps on asking you for food and the adult you, strikes a deal. Which brings us to the eating excuses.
I warn you, when you see some of these laid out before your eyes they may seem pretty silly. But we all do it and it's time to be aware of it so you can stop the merry-go-round!
The diet starts tomorrow
We've almost already covered this one. It's the classic. You stuff yourself stupid because tomorrow you are starting a diet
You work out how many calories you've had today and you realise you've still got 320 to consume... You're not actually hungry but you think, 'Oh I'll have a MARS bar then, they are only 230 calories and then I'll treat myself to a banana too, so I'm healthy.
Nothing to do. Bored
You are so bored you eat something just so you are busy, it's easy and you're too stuck in the habit of this that you can't even think about doing something interesting like reading.
Eating now in case you get hungry later
You realise that you are going to be in a meeting for a few hours or that by the time you have done the shopping and the school run, followed by Chloe's gymnastic lesson, it will be really late. You really aren't hungry in the slightest but you still have a sausage sandwich and a bag of crisps just in case you are hungry later
Reward for all your hard work
You've had such a hard day. The kids have been bloody nightmares. A direct debit bounced. You didn't get that promotion. You've had 3 big meals today but you buy yourself a trifle because you really have had it tough today.
You need energy!
You are so tired because your baby kept you up all night or you couldn't sleep because you were up late watching Family Guy last night. You've still got loads to do. You're not hungry but food will help, it will perk you up (and help you procrastinate).
You need love
You just want to know someone cares and no one is showing you that but food always does. It's sadly a bit like a one night stand though, you feel awful in the morning.
I've exercised so I can eat
You think, oh I did aerobics class and hot yoga today. I've burned off loads of calories so I can eat more whether I'm hungry or not
You didn't exercise
You are utterly annoyed that you didn't get chance to go to the gym today. As you didn't go, there's no point being healthy. You'll just stuff your face with all the foods you eat on your 'off' days and start again tomorrow.
You need to eat the pain away
You feel hurt and terrible depressed. You try to sooth it all away with a box of donuts
You see a pudding you haven't had since you were a child. You're nor hungry but you just have to eat it as tomorrow you will go back on your diet and so you won't be able to
You're on holiday, so you need to try as many of their dishes as possible, even if you've only gone to Butlins!
You may as well finish this now
You feel like you shouldn't really be eating the chocolate biscuit - so you eat the whole packet, then the temptation to eat them tomorrow will at least have gone away and on to your hips
Food will calm you down
You're so stressed with everything, your heart is racing! Food will definitely calm you down
The food is free, so you might as well eat it. You've already had breakfast but it's not every day the office put on free pastries.
Your kids have made you so angry today, you actyually have a lump in your throat. You need to swallow that anger away with some cheese on toast once they are in bed. You've already had dinner but you don't care you need something
You can't sleep
You are just so wired from the day. You'll have some chocolate cookies and milk to knock yourself out
You are ill
You feel so ill. You've heard you should feed a cold. You don't feel much like eating because you can't even taste anything but it's what 'they' say so you must do it
You've must be healthy and eat your 5 a day
You have eaten so much rubbish today. You're not really hungry for lunch but you must be healthy and 'they' (whoever they are) say you must eat 5 a day, so even though you are stuffed to the brim, you'd better have some carrot, beetroot and apple in a smoothie. You feel sick drinking it, your stomach is so full but you must be healthy because 'they' tell you that you must!
Food is your only friend
You have become so hurt and mistrustful of society that food is now your only friend. It make you feel bad too but while it's going down you feel momentarily better
You need to procrastinate
You really need to do your accounts but first you will have a snack or two
Food is how you self harm
You hate yourself and everything about you. You feel fat and so you will eat. You disgust yourself and so why not just get fatter.
There you are. I used to be able to identify with every single one of these eating excuses! When I read them back now, I see how silly they are. How self damaging they are and I wonder how on earth we all fall for them?
If you identify even a little with them, you can change. Think about why you are eating the next time you eat. Are you hungry or are you being bamboozled by one of the eating excuses?
If you don't care, fill your boots but if you do want to change your life and be free from the diet industries multi billion pound robbing farce.... then stop and think.
If you are reaching for that sandwich because of an 'eating excuse' - then have a bath, do a drawing, read a book! Do anything else instead, until you actually do feel hungry again.
I'll teach you all about gauging your hunger soon.
If you are enjoying these posts - please do share them. Please also don't be shy to comment on my Facebook page and other social media accounts. I don't mind if you want to rant at me, tell me your woes or just tell me that you are interested in reading more. I really want to know.
You can read chapter one, two and three of my diet if you've missed them or want to recap by clicking on the links and pictures below.
There will be more either late on Thursday night or most probably Friday. I'm home alone with Phoenix these next two days so the child care is on me, which means no writing!
I've also got an exciting interview with a top business woman coming up and some of my regular parenting rants.
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