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Feeling too fat to enjoy life...

(me in the dressing room at Cats size 16)

I have had such a terrific response from my DIETS DON'T WORK blogs that I will be starting a club in the next few weeks. This is so I can help you all personally to break free from the dieting chains you are bound to and it will mean that my Honeymumster blog can get back to it's roots of being mainly a parenting & lifestyle blog!

My very own - 'The Secret Weigh' club will be opening it's doors to members very soon, so please do watch this space for more details of how to join.

We still have a lot of work to do here though. It's really important that we carry on with the reasons why DIETS DON'T WORK. This is essential to get you in the right frame of mind to start my special 'The Secret Weigh' - a design for a life free from dieting forever!

So the 7th reason why DIETS DO NOT WORK is because so many of us use.......

Dieting as a way of doing something about our weight, instead of doing something about our lives!

I used to blame my unhappiness on the fact that I was 2 stone overweight. It's all I thought about, it's all I could really focus on. It felt like that was really all that was bothering me and that if I could just sort my eating out my life would be wonderful.

At that time in my life I lived with one of the most violent men on the planet and even though this guy did terrible things to me, I stayed. It was only when I had a melt down and smashed up all the Easter Eggs up in a local Salisbury's and was carted off to a mental institution that I realised that perhaps my unhappiness was not just down to how much I weighed.

I thought the reason the poor Easter Eggs had been attacked by me, was because of a chocolate bunny the shop was selling. I had basically been starving myself for this treat for weeks and when I finally went to buy it on Easter Saturday, the bastards had sold out! Well was a girl to do but smash up an entire display of Easter Eggs and then try to calmly walk away?

Of course next thing I knew I was in a hospital for the mentally challenged and put on a course of drugs that wold knock out Anthony Joshua.

It was in the hospital though that I was made to realise that, although my constant dieting and bulimia were certainly playing a big part in my instability and unhappiness, they were actually also helping me to avoid facing up to the fact, that I was being bullied and beaten on daily basis by a terrible man who I desperately needed to get out of my life.

Staying in that state of 'only focusing on my weight and diet' allowed me to ignore the fact completely that I was living a very unhealthy life on all counts.

I suppose the lesson here is, don't let dieting be the mask that stops you seeing what's really going on in your life. It is doubtful that you are only unhappy because of how much you weigh, so take a good and honest look at your life and what is going on in it.

The 8th reason, DIETS DON'T WORK is....

When I am slim life will be perfect.

This is on a similar theme to 7 - but whereas 7 looks at your present, this item looks more at your future.

Let me tell you, the amount of life I missed because I felt I was too fat to live - before I found 'THE SECRET WEIGH' is a crying shame. I must have lost 12 years or more!

How many of you tell yourself, When I am thinner I will:

Get a great job

Be rich

Get a great partner

Go swimming

Go to the gym

Leave my partner

Buy a new whole wardrobe of clothes

Go on a hot holiday

Enjoy my life!

Lots of people feel like being thinner is the answer and will solve all their problems.

Now I cannot lie, it's true that being thinner might give you more confidence, give you more energy (providing you are actually eating). It might even make clothes and generally moving around feel more pleasant but it will not take away all your problems, only you can do that.

Please don't put off living your life for one more second because of how much you weigh!

You are beautiful right now, whatever your weight or size. You are worthy of going swimming, meeting your dream partner and buying yourself new clothes, going out dancing and loving your life right now. Ironically, by putting everything off until you are thin, what you actually do is prevent yourself from getting thinner.

Go dancing, have your hair done, love yourself and embrace all that you are now! Don't put things off until you have lost a stone because all you will lose is life and life is happening right now! Stop judging yourself and live! If other people have a problem with your weight, they can shove it up their arse. My 'The Secret Weigh' is coming your way and the start to that is living your life to the full no matter what.

Isn't it funny that we put these stipulations on our lives and make these decisions about ourselves. We decide that being fat is equal to being bad. We hate ourselves for being fat and it's such a silly reason to hate yourself. Hate yourself for being a bitch to someone for no reason. Hate yourself for being immoral or for lying - don't hate yourself for being fat, there's nothing to hate!

Whats' sad is we hate ourselves because of our weight and then we go on some silly diet and even though it's been proven that DIETS DON'T WORK when the diet fails us, we hate ourselves for failing, not the diet. We utterly abuse ourselves and then wonder why we can't keep the weight off!

Please stop hating yourself. You are the weight you are now because of everything that has happened in your life. Forgive yourself, life and diets have made you think that food is in control and taken away your naturally ability to be instinctive about food...

Many people think that food and diets are all about control. Self control over your appetite. Most people think when they have periods of over-eating, that they are out of control and indeed we are told by the thousands of 'diets' that to lose weight, we must get control over our eating.

But think about it, when we follow a diet we are told exactly what to eat and how much of it we are allowed by the diet book or club. We go from food being in control of our lives to a diet being in control of our lives. We still have no say in what we want whatsoever. We give up our power to be thinner. No wonder we feel so bad.

We let people that don't know us or how we live tell us how to eat, what to eat, how much to eat and when and how to exercise.

You swallow down their plans whether you like the food or not and whether you are hungry or not. You give up your power of choice, taste and appetite to follow a diet. I really don't think that's any way to live and it doesn't have to be that way either.

We put all our needs and natural feelings aside to eat things we don't want at times when we are not hungry. We force down their different combinations of foods and restrictions. No eating after 9pm, no carbs, no sins, you must have breakfast, you must eat a grapefruit after every meal, you must only drink shakes. You must have no fucking life!

No wonder we end up feeling bad about ourselves the minute we come off a diet and end up putting all the weight we lost back on! We never get the life we lost back though, ever.

Well no more. With my 'The Secret Weigh' you will take back control of your own natural ability to eat and in doing so, you will lose weight. You will only lose weight though if you need to and if you don't need to, you will at least find peace because you will no longer constantly be on diet. The Secret Weigh Way is all about freedom from food.

Please do subscribe to my blog and I will give details of how to become a member of my 'The Secret Weigh' group very soon.

Tomorrow on my blog I am going to talk with brilliant business woman, mum and Susannah Scofield OBE, about the ever changing internet and how you can keep on top of it for your children and business.

Now please go and treat yourself!