Every pregnant woman is a walking miracle. It is a well-known fact that human beings do not find it that easy to conceive and on average it takes a couple 2 years to become successfully pregnant.
When I had Phoenix after I’d had a miscarriage, I felt truly blessed. I was admittedly, a nightmare before every scan and we had while pregnant with Phoenix and we had at least 15 scans over the whole pregnancy just reassure me that all was ok with my dream baby.
I knew that Ayden was keen to have another child (he wanted two boys) and I felt that naturally, it would be lovely to extend our very happy family. We both agreed that we didn’t want to do it too soon, as we really wanted to enjoy Phoenix and all delights he brings to our world – but realistically we were also very aware of the fact that I am in my 40’s and so time was ticking down like the Countdown clock.
Just after our wedding, last year on 17th September we decided the time was right to start the tormentuous journey of ‘trying for a baby’.
Any woman who has tried for a baby for more than two months knows the absolute fucking torture and utter craziness that ensues each month as you wait to see if you are pregnant.
Up until this time, I had been pregnant twice, one baby which was sadly lost and the second time with my little dreamboat, Phoenix. Both of these pregnancies came about after only two months of trying, so I figured Ayden and I were a pretty good match and that this time it would hopefully happen quickly as well.
Obviously, I was two years older, so of course I worried that I wasn’t as fertile and I’d also had an infection after my c section, so in the back of my mind I feared that this could have done some damage. We have also had to deal with a great deal of stress and change, so with all this, I was slightly concerned but still hopeful.
Our glorious wedding day came and went and so we decided we would get down to it with some serious baby making. One month went by, no joy, two months, three, four, five. Every month, I was going crazier and crazier, convincing myself each month that I did ‘feel preggers’ until a day before my period, where I would suddenly get depressed and realise I definitely wasn’t with child. Even Ayden joined in with the craziness, every month telling me he thought I looked different and so maybe I was up the duff.
After 5 months, I started to suspect something was maybe seriously wrong and so persuaded Ayden we needed to see the wonderful baby magician, Dr Ghosh.
Dr Ghosh did some blood tests which showed us that my hormone levels were still those of a girl in her twenties. Happy with that, Dr Ghosh said we should relax and get on with it and that it would definitely happen and soon. With hindsight, I should have just listened to him as he is always right but something was niggling me and so I insisted he refer me for a scan.
I went sent to see a private consultant (you don’t get fertility treatment on the NHS at my age, no matter how good your eggs and hormones are). He performed a scan and at first all was fine but then he said he could see a cyst on the scar tissue of my c section, which would have been caused by the way my section had been stitched and so he was sorry to say that without a £3000 operation and then probably £10,000 IVF, I would not be able to get pregnant.
He wanted to refer me to another consultant, just to confirm what needed to be done.
Devastated by the news, we booked to see the other consultant as he suggested, even though it was pricey to do so.
This consultant told us the same. He said that blood was collecting in my scar because of the cyst and so no sperms could get through, therefore no baby without an operation at least. He did add that if I were in my 20’s they might try an aspiration (where they drain the blood) but as I was old he suggested the op.
I felt slightly discriminated against, especially as my hormone levels and eggs had been tested and came back so great, so I mentioned this to him and he reluctantly agreed to two aspirations but then he said, it would have to be an operation with a 6-month rest of no trying and then probably IVF.
At this point and £600 down, I decided to contact Arrow Park Hospital, where I’d had Phoenix. I felt that as it was because of how my scar had been stitched they could at least have a look at rectifying it as £3000 is a lot of anyone’s money. They were so lovely and told me, they would speak to their consultant and get back in touch.
In the meantime, I booked in for a £275 aspiration as I didn’t want to waste any more time.
I had to go on day 8 of my cycle, so it was booked in accordingly.
I turned up to the hospital to see yet another private consultant. I felt a little nervous as I just didn’t know what to expect. The consultant started by performing a scan and then I was told I’d have to have a slight anaesthetic for the procedure.
He did the scan and said, “I can’t see anything wrong with this scar. I see a cyst but it’s not interfering, there’s no blood stopping anything so there’s nothing I can do here.”
I was so confused and I felt like somebody was missing something.
Shortly after this, Arrow Park got in touch with me and said they had made an appointment for me to see their consultant. It was now nearly May. I was tired and felt like I would never have another baby. I really felt like an old failure and that I had let Ayden down and Phoenix would be an only child because I was old and useless.
This time a free appointment was made and we scooted over to Birkenhead. As we jumped in the car, I could smell a terrible smell, that made me feel really quite ill. On investigating what it was, I realised it was Ayden’s aftershave. A Tom Ford tobacco one which I usually love the smell of. I didn’t say anything to my lovely husband but mused as to whether I might be about 3 weeks pregnant anyway as that was the only reason for smell aversions and then I wondered whether or not this consultant would be able to spy a 3-week-old baby making machine on my scan.
He was a lovely consultant and said he would do a scan and if there was a problem with this cyst, he would aspirate it for me but maybe at a different time in my cycle and that if that didn’t work he would try to get me the operation I needed on the NHS as it was technically their mistake.
As he did the scan I saw two dark circles. Oh, he said, “I see the cyst, but now you have two of them”.
I casually asked him whether if I was pregnant at this stage would he be able to see it but he just didn’t answer me, so figured maybe not. Still though the appearance of a second cyst made me wonder.
That following week, I became convinced that maybe against all the odds I was in fact pregnant. I had a terrible taste in my mouth. Everything smelled foul to me and my tits were already growing out of my bra.
I didn’t say anything to Ayden but after cycle day 30 I took a pregnancy test and there it was BFP! A Big Fat Positive, Dr Ghosh was right all along, we just needed to relax and let nature take its course.
I called the lovely consultant at Arrow Park and he got me in for a scan at 6 weeks to make sure all was well and the baby wasn’t too near my cyst.
I was so, so nervous but all was fine and we were all thrilled but obviously anxious, although we had seen a heartbeat at the scan, so I had some hope.
Every baby is a miracle but Ayden must have some serious Olympic swimmers in his nuts as 4 different fertility experts told us to conceive naturally was just impossible.
We are so thrilled and so lucky and I wanted to share this with you, firstly because this problem with c section scars is becoming more wide spread, so please if you’ve had a c section get it checked out after a year and secondly because I wanted to show you when it comes to having a baby, miracles can and do happen, so please never, ever give up!
If you want help with fertility problems, I cannot recommend Dr Ghosh enough, here is his website http://www.drarunghosh.co.uk/ and thank you so much Arrow Park for being truly amazing in helping me sort this problem.